Green Wall Of Silence - IV

Friday, November 29, 2002
By: Tashbih Sayyed

Misguided by manipulated interpretations of Quraa'n (the holy book), Arabs believe that it is permitted to marry a poor Muslim girl from backward Muslim societies just to satisfy their lust and divorce her as soon as she loses her sex appeal. They do not marry these poor Muslim girls to start a family. They use the institution of marriage to save themselves from "sinning" by going to brothels. Once, such pleasure seeker, told me that it is cheaper to marry a poor Muslim girl for sexual pleasures than to hire a prostitute. Concerned Muslims wonder as to why Saudi religious scholars and other Muslim Mullahs who are so willing to issue Fatwahs (edicts) against reformers have not condemned this evil practice. M P Basheer a prominent Indian journalist talks about such a crime in these words,
" Her face proclaims her predicament. At 34, Ayesha is a veteran of four marriages. None of them, except one, lasted beyond 60 days. She even fails to recollect the name of her second husband, but has to care for her two children, fathered by two. None of her children have any idea about who their fathers are."

Ayesha, who ekes out a living working as a housemaid in an upper middle class family at Kuttichira in Kozhiode, Kerala, India, is not alone in her sad tale. She represents nearly 600 poor Muslim women who were married to citizens of Arabian countries, who came to the Malabar coast for trade or sometimes on pleasure trips. These women mostly inhabit the coastal settlements of Mughadar, Kampuram, Kappakkal and Pallikandi in Kozhikode and parts of Ponnani and Thirur in Malappuram. Where beaches are dotted by slums, the men folk are usually fishermen or timber workers and the women work as house-maids in city homes.

Their life is a struggle; water and electricity are scare. Sewers are exposed; children defecate in the open. But more insidious than the rigors of poverty is the status of women. Here, religion is largely misused and it turns into a legitimate means of female oppression. Arabi Kalyanams, as the marriages between local girls and Arab nationals are locally known, is all the more tragic because it lures poor people into it, using to advantage, the loop-holes in law. Ayesha was first married off when she was 14. The man was a saw-mill worker was 25 years senior to her. He had already married twice. He had a daughter of Ayesha's age. The marriage lasted briefly four years, during which he was jealous and would not allow his young wife to talk to another man. One day, one of her classmates in the Madrassa (religious school) greeted her on SM Street, the commercial hub of Kozhikode. He simply divorced her the same day and within 15 days, married another woman, probably a younger one. By then, Ayesha had given birth to a girl child. She and her child had to lead a miserable life along with their poor family, for almost four years.

She remembers that she was 21 and her child five, when she was again married, this time to a Qatar national (whose name she has forgotten), who came on a trade ship at Beypore port 12 km south of Kozhikode. "One day, my maternal uncle came to our house with a 55 plus Arab man. Uncle told us the man had agreed to marry me and he would also give me money to get my child admitted to school and madrassa. She remembers it was a rainy day, perhaps early June when schools reopen in Kerala. I wanted my child to go to school. So, I agreed."

The same day, Syed Shihabuddin Imbichi Koya Thangal, the then Valiya Khasi, the chief priest of Kozhikode solemnized the nikkah (Wedding) at his chamber, half a mile away from her house, which was too small to accommodate a foreign bridegroom." He took her to a local hotel where he was staying. They lived there for 40 days. On the day his ship embarked, he left her with a promise to visit her every six months. I waited for him for two years, all in vain. The only benefit from that marriage was that my girl got some good clothes and her school books," says Ayesha, with no emotion.

The marriage came to an end when her uncle brought another Arab, a relatively young and wealthy man from Saudi Arabia, who was on a pleasure trip to Malabar. She says she enjoyed the two months she spent with him. They toured many places in North Kerala, and dined at good restaurants. She got a number of good clothes and a purse of Rs 20,000. When he parted, he too promised to come back and take her to Arabia. She still believes he was sincere. But after three months, her father got a letter from the Saudi Arabian Family Welfare Department nullifying the marriage on a complaint by his Arabian first wife. By then, Ayesha was four months into pregnancy. She named her son Rafeeq Abdulla after his father Ahmed Abdulla. As a little child, my son used to ask about his father. Now he is all convinced," says she. Ten -year-old Rafeeq is studying in the 5th standard at Kuttichira High School.

She was again married in 1991 when she was 25. Nothing was unusual. A marriage broker brought the proposal from a UAE national who was on the crew of a ship that anchored at Beypore for 15 days. However, he stayed with her for three months to leave when the ship came on its next sail. He proclaimed talaaq (divorce) before he left and also gave her Rs.5,000 which she spent on a gold chain for her girl. She is also determined not to giver her child to an Arab or a Gulf returnee. Last year, she almost gheraoed (besieged) the local priest who came with a proposal from a Gulf returnee to take young Hafsa as his second wife.

A look at Ayesha's life reveals the chaotic nature of marital life of a number of working class women in the poverty-ridden coastal areas of Kozhikode and Malappuram districts in the Malabar region. Those who marry four or five times may be exceptions. But these areas host nearly 600 Muslim women who are married off at a young age, mostly against their will, to citizens of Arabian countries. Ayesha is fortunate that she has only two children to care for. Many women bear the responsibility of raising many children, fathered by many.

Fathima, 49, of Ambalakkandi in Kozhikode is a typical case as she has five children—two by a local merchant who married her first, and the remaining three by a Saudi national who visited her every year till his death. Two marriages and five deliveries later, she is earning a living as a housemaid. According to rough estimates, there are more than 900 forgotten children, whose fathers came from across the seas.

The community leadership of Malabar Muslims controlled by the affluent half or the male-dominated clergy is least bothered about these poor women and their unfortunate children. Syed Muhasin Shihabudeen Thangal, the new incumbent as the Kozhikode Valiya Khasi says It is the duty of the respective parents of the girl to take the responsibility. They have to look into the eligibility of the bridegrooms. Our duty is just solemnizing the Nikah," says he. More than 200 such Nikahs between Arabs and local girls have taken place in the last forty years, at the Valiya Khari's chamber, the most cleric harem in Kozhikode.

There is no doubt that violence against women is a global phenomenon that cuts across class, race, ethnic, religious and cultural boundaries. But in the civilized societies, such violence neither goes unpunished nor is promoted as sanctioned by religion. Women in the Muslim world face the threat of multiple forms of violence, including sexual violence by family members, strangers, and state agents; domestic abuse, including spousal murder and being burned, disfigured with acid, beaten, and threatened; ritual "honor" killings; and custodial abuse and torture.

Muslim preachers know that an educated woman will not submit to the primitive social customs. They have seen that women fare better in urban areas and middle- and upper-class sections of society, where there are greater opportunities for higher education and for paid and professional work, and women's social mobility is somewhat less restricted. That's why they try their best to discourage Muslim women from equipping herself with an enlightened vision. As the majority of Muslim women live in rural environment where Mullah's hold is maximum, they continue to live a persecuted life. For instance, almost 80% female population in Pakistan being rural, is beset with illiteracy, constant motherhood and poor health. "And, despite the relative privilege of some, all Pakistan women remain structurally disadvantaged and second-class citizens as a result of legal and societal discrimination premised on social and cultural norms and attitudes."

Islamists believe that a women's place is that of a mother and a wife. A man's place is defined outside home as the provider. According to Mohammad Anwer, "This dichotomy which defines women as familial/emotional beings and men as economic and political beings has certain repercussions for the material existence of the female sex in the society which operates from the day a female child is born. The news of her birth is usually mourned by her family as she is considered a social and economic liability because the only legitimate roles given to them by culture are as wives and mothers. Her identity is wholly defined by her relationship to others. Since this 'burden' on the family can be transferred to another male only through her marriage, female child is to become an obedient wife and socialized with 'feminine' qualities considered necessary for her role as mother and wife, such as un-assertiveness, docility, gentleness, loving and caring."

Mohammad Anwer argues that the social construction of gender based on the sexual division of labor establishes male power over women. Women's inferior position makes them socially, economically, and emotionally dependent on men. "Furthermore, as the notion of male honor is also attached with women's sexual behavior, all men assume the responsibility to regulate the conduct and sexual behavior of their female relatives. Thus, violence against women is one of the crucial social mechanisms by which women's sexuality is controlled and they are forced into a subordinate position. Therefore, in all forms of gender violence, women are found systematically to be the victims of violence."

In light of world's experience with growing numbers of fatwas (edicts) issued by Muslim clergy, one would have expected a fatwa against the Pakistani Panchayat (Tribal Councils), which had ordered the gang rape. But no fatwa (edict) was issued. And for those who understand the mind of the Muslim clergy, it was not surprising. The institution of Fatwa has rarely been used constructively. It has only been used to perpetuate the rule of mullah over the hearts and minds of the ignorant. And this is the reason that Islam has come to be perceived as a religion that inspires cruelty and madness.

To be continued.